surroundings, From heart breakers. Too weak! Can’t live with
such pressure, can’t swallow my feelings! Though, I seem to scream
loudly, laugh and giggle apparently and talk freely. But, still my chains
are too tight, to close to my life’s rope. Clogged chest with life’s daily
sights, life’s daily situations and life’s daily conversations.
Laid on my bed, head on my pillow, neck rested perfectly. Sounds
of people I love and people I abhor vividly in my ear, things I said I
regret or feel stupid that I said during the day, or scenes of people I
hold something for, doing or saying something that belittled them in
my eyes, in my sensations. Did they mean it? Why did they do it? His
hand was around her. She had her mouth near his ear, whispering
something. Next, day he was tickling her and she was jumping, with a
high pitched scream following it.
Jealousy! No, I don’t think so! It can’t be to every close friend I have.
No, it’s not it. Because, I predict their emotions, their future actions
and condition. I feel sorry for them, thought I know it might put them
through contentment. But, for a while now or momentary only. I
seem to watch everything I can, what they say what they do really
closely. But, I fail at times by catching their eye. Is this stocking… Is
this annoyance…. Is this wrong? It seems I care too much of my
surroundings, than watching over myself. I relate certain things that
happen to what I’ve been through. I don’t it that to happen to him or
her, but it seems they like it. Sometimes I chose to say nothing, but
latter words and accusations scatter them. The only powerful weapon
I have, «WORDS». They do understand it, I thought they didn’t. THEY
DO! But, it’s hard to follow up, hard to know exactly what they want
at this time, at this age. Everyone is doing the same thing, impressing
him and grasping her attention.
Everyone swims in the same river, that’s why they find it hard to
jump out, predicting they will lay dead on the side of the river. While,
everyone else is jumping, leaping and bumping into each other, either
getting to know each other or altering each other’s lives. I watch little
things that bother my thinking or my thoughts. He’s a left handed,
how does he write? Plus, he’s a great artist too. How does he hold
the pencil? WOW, real different and real unique. I get caught trying
to do the same, and might be proven as zany and wacky from the act
of stupidity. Why is that? Is wondering and fishing thoughts limited
within our brains? I find it hard to flip my pages up, over there in my
head. Need to see it, need to hear it and need to prove it. I think too
much, very much! In moment of pure silence, in moments of being
motionless and in moments of life actions. The teacher explained a
complex problem, and I’m between of analyzing a situation 2 minutes
ago.
We are playing Volley ball, I ponder on a girls converse shoes, instead
of the ball. It’s hard, knowing it’s not comfortable cuz I have the
same, is she in pain but putting a smile? Looking at my baby brother
talking, saying things not his age not necessarily bad, but doesn’t
fit on his face on his size. Did I talk like that, when I was his age?
Was my imagination infinite, like his? Was I free- going, not fearing
consequences of any kind? So many questions in my head, so my
thoughts in my brain! Why is it I look at her and decide I disgust her
and look at her friend and decide she’s friendly? I hate that thing I
do, evaluating before I know! Makes me mad, makes me furious and
every adjective that’s a synonym to those
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email this
Hits: 322
Comments
(0)
